Don't Run
by honeyMellon
Summary: Ichigo and Renji share a quiet, loving relationship. The only problem is, none of their friends know about it.
1. Chapter 1

**I seem to be quite into angsty stories, so...despite setting up a fluffy, seemingly perfect world for Renji and Ichigo in "Stressful Situation", "Out of Sight", and "Between a rock and a hard place", I decided that it's time for them to face reality.**

**If you've read the stories I just listed, you'd know that even though they have a sweet and loving relationship, they're hiding it from their friends.**

**And what happens when you try to hide?**

* * *

"Shhh..." Renji murmured, pressing his lips firmly on Ichigo's to muffle the boy's moans. It was amusing how vocal Ichigo was, but it was the also main reason why it was so difficult to find a place where they could make out in peace without having to worry about being overheard.

Ichigo's eyes watered as he clenched his jaw in a supreme effort to silence himself, but it was a losing battle. His body rocked in time with Renji's gentle thrusts, and he just couldn't help making noises as wave after wave of pleasure swept over him. It was like trying not to scream during a roller coaster ride—you could try to hold it in, but in the end, at the final plunge, you would still squeal, or at least gasp at the frightening sensation of a free fall. And for Ichigo, every thrust was like the final plunge, and for the life of him, he simply could not shut up.

When another loud groan escaped Ichigo's lips, Renji couldn't help laughing. He was already being extra gentle, hoping that the slower pace would give Ichigo more control over his body, but it was not to be. For a fleeting moment, he entertained the thought of covering Ichigo's mouth with a pillow or something of that sort, but it seemed...wrong.

It was times like this that he wished that they didn't have to hide from people. At least if their relationship was known, people would be more likely to keep a polite distance when they sensed that they were in the middle of such...healthy activities. But Ichigo had stubbornly refused to tell anyone, not even Rukia. Renji wasn't entirely sure if it had to do with the boy trying to keep up his "cool" reputation, or if he was simply too embarrassed to show his sentimental side. Either way, Renji respected Ichigo's decision, but that didn't mean that he had to like it.

"Renji..." Ichigo's breathless call shook Renji out of his brief distraction.

"Hmm?" Renji bent down and rested his forehead on Ichigo's. His long red hair immediately swept down like a curtain, covering both their faces. He really didn't need to hear Ichigo's reply to know what the boy wanted to say, but he loved to hear it from Ichigo's lips, so he asked anyway.

Ichigo made a soft noise that sounded almost like a whimper before whispering, "I'm gonna..."

Renji chuckled and watched the boy's face flush a delicate pink. "You're gonna what?" Renji asked in a low whisper, brushing his lips along Ichigo's jawline.

"I'm..." Ichigo gasped, eyes wide and glassy. As Renji rolled his hips in another well-placed thrust, the boy arched his back and whispered urgently, "I'm gonna come..."

Ichigo's words gave Renji the little push he needed, and with a hoarse cry, the redhead gave one last snap of his hips and stiffened, spilling himself inside his lover.

"_Fuck_," Ichigo swore as sudden warmth flooded his insides, then he, too, lost himself in a rush of intense pleasure that left him panting for breath.

Arms trembling from supporting his body weight for so long, Renji rolled off Ichigo's body and collapsed onto his back next to the boy. Rolling his eyes, Renji said in a teasing but tired voice, "That last one sounded so romantic."

Ichigo snorted and elbowed the redhead in the ribs. "I don't do romantic." Still, he blushed anyway.

"Mm hmm," Renji mumbled sleepily. Eyes sliding close, he draped his arm over Ichigo's waist and tugged the boy closer to him. Just as he began to drift off, he muttered something under his breath, so softly that it was barely audible.

Ichigo waited until Renji's breathing tapered off into a slow, steady rhythm before whispering, "Love you too."

* * *

They weren't so lucky the next time they slid under Ichigo's covers.

Renji had just become fully erect and was in the middle of positioning himself between Ichigo's knees when the front door of the clinic slammed. It was immediately followed by Rukia's voice announcing her return.

Ichigo reacted so quickly that he didn't even warn Renji. Snapping his knees together, he leapt off the bed and immediately began to pull on his pants. It took him a few seconds to realize that Renji wasn't doing the same thing next to him like he usually did. He turned towards the bed.

Renji was curled up in a fetal position on the bed, his hands covering his crotch and jaw tightly clenched, but even so, low moans of pain could be heard.

Ichigo forgot about his clothes and rushed to the redhead. "What happened?"

"You idiot..." Renji hissed through gritted teeth as he glared at Ichigo. "You fucking kneed me right in the groin!"

Ichigo gasped in dismay and gripped his friend's arm. "I'm so sorry!" he whispered urgently. He ran his palm along Renji's shoulder and bicep to comfort the man, but his eyes kept darting to door, fretting that Rukia would be here any minute. He was frantic, torn between taking care of Renji and handling Rukia's arrival.

Just as he feared, Rukia flung the door open as soon as she arrived at Ichigo's room, just like she usually did, and he was so panicked that it didn't even cross his mind that he could've simply yelled for her to give him a few minutes before coming in.

"Huh," Rukia said, looking around the room as she walked in. "I could've sworn I felt Renji's _reiatsu_ here. Did he stop by?"

It was only then did Ichigo notice that the redhead was no longer lying on his bed. Feeling confused and guilty, he stared blankly at his palm, the one which had just been caressing Renji's arm. He had been so distracted by Rukia that he didn't even notice that Renji had left. And Renji was in pain too...

"Something wrong?" Rukia asked, puzzled by Ichigo's odd expression.

Ichigo looked up with a start. "No," he lied, hoping that he looked convincing. "Everything's fine."

* * *

**To be continued...**

**I'm busy the entire day tomorrow, but I'll update this weekend! Love you all! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there, sorry to keep you all waiting. :) Here's the next chapter, hope you'll like it! **

* * *

Inside the room, Rukia was saying, "Are you sure?" Then after a brief pause, she added, "Why do you have clothes all over the place?"

There was the sound of clothes being picked up and thrown—most likely into Ichigo's laundry hamper, from the sound of it. "Was, uh, trying out a couple of outfits to see which one looks better," the boy said.

It took all of Renji's willpower not to snort out loud at the excuse. He imagined that the tips of Ichigo's ears must be bright red by now, and wondered if Rukia would notice.

He saw Rukia's eyebrows arch dramatically, clearly not believing Ichigo, but she didn't probe further. Knowing Ichigo, if he wanted to keep quiet about something, no amount of persuading would get him to open up, and Rukia knew the boy better than anyone.

Rukia disappeared from Renji's field of vision, then Ichigo appeared at the window, looking out with a worried frown. No doubt the boy was wondering where Renji was. Ichigo lingered at the window for a bit longer, then Yuzu's voice rang from downstairs, announcing dinner time. Ichigo clenched his jaw and tried to stall, obviously not wanting to leave until he knew where Renji had gone. But then Rukia appeared and dragged the boy away from the window.

Just before Ichigo let go of the windowsill, Renji saw the boy's shoulders sag in defeat. Then, he disappeared from view.

Renji leaned his head back against the wall and let out a relieved sigh. He never thought he'd one day use the word _love_ to describe his feelings towards Urahara Kisuke—okay, perhaps love is too strong a word, but at the moment he had the insane urge to hug the man, because without the man's brilliant mind, he would not have been able to escape like he just did.

Two days ago, the sneaky former captain had "persuaded" Renji—using a mixture of bribery and threats—to try out a prototype gigai that he had just developed. The secret of this prototype is a tiny button at the back of the gigai's ear—once triggered, a small shield would appear around the entire gigai and create an optical illusion. In other words, the gigai would become invisible. At the same time, it also automatically triggered a _reiatsu_ suppressor, effectively concealing the presence of the wearer of the gigai. The technology was designed as an emergency defense mechanism, but Renji believed that he had just found another use for it.

Earlier, the second he heard Rukia's footsteps arrive in front of Ichigo's door, he hit the button and hopped out of the window. When Rukia flung open the door, Renji was in fact only partially out of the room. It was horrifyingly degrading having to escape like this—_naked, no less_, and he was in so much pain at the time that he now wondered how he managed to get from the window onto the roof without tumbling over the edge.

Now that Ichigo and Rukia were both gone, Renji finally uncurled his tense body. The pain from being kneed in the groin had decreased somewhat, but was still bad enough to impede his movements, so he decided to sit there and rest until he felt well enough to make his way back to Urahara's shop. He felt horribly exposed sitting there naked, so, after a moment of hesitation, he got out of his gigai. Now fully clothed in his standard-issue _shihakusho_, he continued to sit on the roof, holding his still-invisible gigai in one hand.

As he gradually calmed down, he couldn't help feeling a stab of anger in his gut—for being subjected to such a demeaning situation, and at the reason that led to this situation in the first place. But he knew there was no use talking to Ichigo about it, not only because the boy was stubborn, but because Renji didn't want to come off as a needy lover begging to be publicly acknowledged. He was no Kuchiki Byakuya, but he still had pride, and he would die before anyone perceived him that way.

The throbbing between his legs finally tapered off to a bearable level, and with a tired sigh, he heaved his gigai onto one shoulder and flash-stepped to Urahara Shoten.

* * *

By the third day of Renji's absence, Ichigo was certain that the redhead was avoiding him on purpose. Renji had not stopped by his room at all after the incident, and every time Ichigo went to Urahara's shop, he was told that the redhead was out on patrol. It wasn't unusual that Renji was busy, but three consecutive days was bordering on ridiculous. Unless Renji had gone back to Soul Society for his routine check-in, there was really nothing here that should keep him _that_ occupied. And Ichigo knew that Renji was not in Soul Society because Rukia said she could sense the redhead's presence in the town.

Ichigo sat on the low step at the entrance of Urahara Shoten and waited. Urahara had told him that Renji came home every night to sleep at the shop and had offered to let him wait inside, but Ichigo had declined. He knew that once he got ahold of the redhead, it would be one conversation that he would rather have in private, and there was nowhere private under Urahara's roof.

When Renji finally arrived at the compound of his temporary home, the first thing he noticed was a shock of bright orange hair. He stopped in his tracks, then relaxed slightly when he saw that Ichigo's head was nestled face-down between his folded arms, which were in turn resting on bent knees. The boy appeared to be sleeping.

Ichigo was right; Renji had been avoiding him. Renji had thought that things would go back to normal after he'd calmed down, but he later realized that the close call with Rukia had affected him more than he cared to admit. He was quite confused, really, by the mixed emotions he was feeling. It wasn't like they hadn't had close calls before, but something about having to escape _naked_ had hurt him deeply. He was angry, naturally, but was also feeling a bunch of other emotions that he didn't quite understand. Disappointment, perhaps. And even something bordering on disgust—at himself for stooping so low, and at Ichigo for putting him in such a situation. But he wasn't sure what all this meant, so, for lack of other options, he stayed away from the boy.

Renji sighed. It looked like there was no choice now but to face Ichigo. He knew he couldn't avoid it forever, but he had been dreading it. He was sure Ichigo would apologize, and he knew that he would give in eventually after seeing the boy's pained expression, then after that the whole vicious cycle would repeat itself.

So, it was with a sense of foreboding that the redhead finally approached Ichigo. "Oi," he said, kicking Ichigo's foot lightly.

The boy's head shot up, brown eyes wide with sudden alertness. He rubbed his face, seemingly surprised that he had fallen asleep. "Renji!" he said, shooting to his feet. His eyes lit up with relief at seeing Renji, then the momentary look of happiness was replaced by a big scowl. "Where the hell have you been?"

Renji gave Ichigo a tired smile. "Doing my job," he said with a shrug. He climbed up the step and slid the door open. Stepping across the threshold, he noticed that Ichigo remained where he was. "You coming in?"

"No," Ichigo replied. The boy's hands were in his pants pockets, and he absent-mindedly kicked the little pebbles by his feet. His brows were furrowed. "Can we..." he began. He looked up at Renji, then quickly averted his gaze. He was a picture of awkwardness. "Can we talk?" When Renji simply stared at him blankly, Ichigo added, "Somewhere else?"

Renji hesitated for a split second before stepping back outside. It wasn't too surprising that Ichigo didn't want to talk inside, he supposed. There were too many prying ears. "Where do you want to go?"

"Follow me," Ichigo said. Then, without waiting for Renji, he walked off, hands still deep inside his pockets.

Renji stared at the boy's back for a few seconds, then, with a sigh, followed.

* * *

Renji sat down next to Ichigo. The boy was staring straight at the river, eyes downcast and jaw clenched tightly. The redhead sighed. This was going to be one difficult conversation.

"This is where my mom was killed," Ichigo said suddenly, breaking the silence that had settled over the two of them.

Renji nodded. "I know." Rukia had told him about it.

After that, the awkward silence returned. Something about this reminded Renji of the confrontation they had on the roof back then, back when things had just started to get complicated, back when they ended up confessing their feelings for each other. Except, he had a feeling that this conversation would not end up with such favorable results. Somehow, he knew that this was going to be a turning point for the two of them.

"I'm sorry about the other day," Ichigo muttered, eyes glued to his own feet.

Renji smiled. "Yeah, I couldn't walk properly for an entire hour," he said. He was pretty sure that Ichigo wasn't referring to that specifically, but he didn't want to be the first one to touch the meat of the issue. It was simply a desperate attempt to delay the inevitable, but he couldn't stop himself.

Ichigo shot him a look. "You know I'm not talking about that."

Renji remained silent.

"I don't know how you got away," Ichigo continued. His hand went up to fidget with his hair. "I'm sorry I let you leave like that. I feel really bad about it."

"Yeah, well," Renji said. "At least Rukia didn't catch us."

Ichigo turned to look at his friend. He caught the bitter undertone in Renji's voice. He knew the exact cause for it, but he also knew it was something he couldn't solve. Well, he technically _could_, but for reasons that he must not disclose to Renji, he couldn't. "I'm sorry," he said again.

Renji didn't respond for a long time. When he finally did, his voice was low and uncharacteristically serious. "Is that all?" he asked.

Ichigo clenched his fists. No, of course that's not all. He could sense that Renji was slipping away with each passing minute, he desperately wanted to cling to the man and beg him to stay, but then he would just be selfish. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

Renji thought he heard his own heart crack. It wasn't quite broken, because he knew Ichigo loved him, even if the boy rarely told him that in words. It was clear in Ichigo's body language, the physical connection and the passion between them. They shared something precious, that much was certain. But he had always known that there was something not quite right, both of them knew, but they chose to dance around it. When you have to hide your affection for someone, it was just a time bomb waiting to explode.

And he was damn near to exploding right now. In fact, perhaps he already had.

"Okay," he said, keeping his voice steady even as he began to feel nauseous. His stomach clenched as if he was physically ill. "Well, I guess we've said all we have to say."

They had said practically nothing, yet at the same time had said so much. Ichigo initiating this conversation was a clear indication that he knew Renji was upset, and that he had a good idea what the redhead was upset about, but was opening the floor for discussion in case it was something else. Renji's silence during the conversation was a confirmation of Ichigo's assumption, and Ichigo's refusal to directly address the issue was...well, as the saying goes, the ball was in Renji's court now.

And as Renji stood up, Ichigo understood with a sinking heart what Renji's decision was.

He had lost Renji.

* * *

***sniff* Hopefully I've gotten some of you to feel sad for them. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for reading! :) I promised fast updates, so here's chapter 3. **

* * *

"Kurosaki Ichigo, this is the fourth time in two weeks that you did not complete your homework," Ochi Misato said sternly at she stared at the lanky orange-haired boy standing in front of her. "Do you have an explanation?"

Ichigo stared back blankly, but remained silent.

Misato was so taken aback by the boy's reaction—or rather, lack thereof—that she became speechless for a few seconds. It was so unlike Ichigo to underperform like this in her class. The boy had always carried an odd aura around him; he tended to keep to himself in class, but he was a good student. He could be hotheaded sometimes, but she'd seen him treat his classmates with kindness and respect. She liked him.

The teenager standing in front of her now was not the Ichigo she knew. This boy was eerily quiet, expressionless, and seemed—if she had to pick one word to describe him—lifeless.

Misato's eyes softened. She had no idea what was wrong with Ichigo, but something must've happened to him. She was his teacher, but was by no means close to the boy. Clearing her throat, she said cooly, "Given your past record, I will overlook this for now. I'll give you a chance to complete these assignments. I want them back on my desk, _done_, in two days."

Ichigo nodded woodenly, then returned to his seat. Misato caught Inoue Orihime looking at the boy with concerned eyes as he walked past her, and made a mental note to talk to the girl after class. She knew that Orihime was one of the few students in the class who was close to Ichigo. Perhaps she could ask the girl what the problem was, or ask the girl to talk to Ichigo. With a quiet sigh, she straightened up, put on her usual cheery face, and continued with the lesson.

* * *

"No, I don't know what happened to him," Rukia said solemnly, giving Orihime a sad look.

Orihime bit her lower lip in disappointment. Of course she had noticed Ichigo's recent unusual behavior, so when Ochi-sensei asked her about Ichigo, she was not surprised. She was sad, however, that she couldn't explain what was wrong with her friend.

Desperate and worried, she turned to Rukia, certain that the shinigami would know. After all, Rukia lived with Ichigo, surely she would have some information?

"I've asked him, over and over again," Rukia continued. "I even locked him in the room and threatened to keep him locked in there if he didn't tell me what's wrong, but all he did was stay in there quietly until I gave up." She looked helplessly at Orihime. "I don't know what to do."

Orihime chewed the inside of her cheeks. "Do you think he's worried about Aizen?" she asked. She knew it was unlikely—nothing had happened recently that would've changed their situation compared to two weeks ago.

Rukia shook her head. "He would've talked to me or Renji if it was something like this, or even Urahara-san. But he didn't, I've asked the man."

"What about Abarai-kun? Do you think he knows what's wrong?" Orihime asked, suddenly perking up at the mention of the redhead's name.

"You know, that's the other weird thing," Rukia said, tapping a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "I hardly see Renji nowadays. He always seemed to be busy with something whenever I look for him, training at Urahara's, on patrol, even sleeping."

Orihime gasped. "Do you think it's related?"

Rukia frowned as she pondered the question, then she clenched her jaw in determination. "You know what," she said to Orihime. "I'll go find Renji again today, even if I have to stay up all night at Urahara Shoten. I'm sure he knows something. I think you're right, they're related somehow, I can _smell_ it."

* * *

Ichigo threw himself onto his bed. For a minute he just lay on his back and stared numbly at the ceiling. He didn't realize that he had been so obvious. Of course he knew that Rukia and the others had already noticed, but he didn't expect his _teacher_ to see it too. He really needed to work harder at controlling his emotions. The last thing he wanted was more people prodding him for information, he had had enough trouble dealing with Rukia's questions. At least she had learned to stop asking now.

He sighed and rolled to his side. Grabbing the corners of his pillow, he buried his face in it.

He had wanted so much to run up to Renji that day, to ask his friend to stay at his side, to apologize and beg for forgiveness. But he controlled himself and forced his body to remain seated. His eyes followed Renji, though. He knew Renji was as heartbroken as he was, perhaps more so, but the man's back was straight, head held high, footsteps steady. He almost reached out to touch the receding figure, wanting so much to trace the jagged pattern of the man's tattoos that extend all the way down his back, to feel the toned abdomen and chest under his fingers. He could almost feel Renji's breath against his neck and Renji's wet kisses down the side of his face, his jaw, his neck...

In fact, as he sat at the riverbank that day, the wetness had felt so real that Ichigo subconsciously reached up to touch his own face. Only then did he realize that he was crying.

Ichigo's shoulders shook as he clung to his pillow, the pain from the memory still fresh. His body had curled up in a ball on its own accord, a subconscious act of self protection. Every day for the past two weeks, that last conversation with Renji came back to haunt him. And every day, he told himself that it was for Renji's own good.

By the time Ichigo finally drifted off into restless slumber, the pillowcase was completely soaked.

* * *

"Kuchiki-san," Urahara Kisuke said with a sigh. "I know you are concerned about your friend, but—"

"_Friends_," Rukia corrected harshly, her patience stretched thin by the overly-cheerful shopkeeper. She had gone to the shop after school, and, upon hearing that Renji was once again _unavailable_, planted herself in front of Renji's room, determined to remain there until the redhead came back to sleep that night.

Yet, Urahara kept pestering her, giving her all sorts of excuses to persuade her to leave. It was almost like the man was hiding Renji from her. Her eyebrow twitched at the thought; perhaps that was exactly what he was doing.

"You know something," she said fiercely, glaring at the blond-haired man.

Urahara sighed again. He looked into the bright violet eyes of the black-haired girl and knew that he would not be able to dismiss her like that. Reaching up to tug his striped hat lower, Urahara thought about what he should do. Yes, she was right, he did know something, but—shrewd and nosy as he was—it was his personal belief that some things were off limits to outsiders. Intimate relationship between two people was one such thing.

After another moment of silence, Urahara finally made his decision. Excusing himself from Rukia, he walked off to his office. When he returned, he held out an envelope to Rukia.

"This will tell you what I know," he said. "I personally feel that it is not my place to interfere with..._this_. But I realize that they are your friends as much as they are mine, so I shall leave it to your judgement how you want to handle it."

Rukia eyed the former captain apprehensively. For all his quirkiness and annoying flamboyance, she knew that he was an insightful man. "Thank you," she said, clutching the envelope tightly, then she looked at Renji's door hesitantly. Should she still wait for her friend? Or should she...

Urahara caught her moment of indecision. "I advise you to go over the contents in that envelope..." He gestured to Rukia's hand with his fan. "...before you talk to either one of them."

* * *

**So...what do you think is inside that envelope? **


	4. Chapter 4

**Bingo, Nila101 and Cptn. Suz! So, if you couldn't guess what was in the envelope, here's a hint: It has to do with my earlier RenIchi story, "Between a rock and a hard place". ;)**

* * *

Rukia blinked.

_There had to be some kind of mistake._

The photos were not of the highest quality, but she could easily identify the location—this was Urahara's underground training grounds. She recognized the barren wasteland-like space, the giant boulders that peppered the uneven dry ground, the occasional dried tree trunks here and there.

The dots of bright orange and red stood out starkly against the otherwise bleak landscape. The first photo was taken from afar, so all she could make out were two little dots of color.

The rest of the photos, though, were clear enough.

There was Ichigo with his eyes half-closed, his naked body partially hidden by Renji's equally-naked body. There was Renji, his back against a large boulder, _shihakusho_ in tatters, Ichigo's head buried between his legs. The most memorable one of all was of Renji straddling Ichigo's hips, his head thrown back, eyes closed, and lips apart.

Rukia fell into her chair, stunned beyond words. For the past two weeks she had thought of many possible explanations for Ichigo's behavior and Renji's absence, but nothing like _this_ ever crossed her mind. It was...absurd. She wouldn't have believed it if not for these pictures, and she figured this must be why Urahara had simply given these to her instead of telling her directly.

Rukia hastily stuffed the photos back into their envelope. Those were some images that she wished she could _un_see. It wasn't that she had anything against love between two men, in fact, she thought it was beautiful—her own captain was in one such relationship. It was just...she had always seen Ichigo as a little brother, and Renji was her childhood friend! To see them "in action" like this was...hair-raising, to say the least.

Leaning back into her chair, she quickly pieced together the information that she now had. Well, the most obvious guess would be that they were having a fight, but it must be one hell of a fight to leave Ichigo in such a sorry state. The boy was young and may seem immature sometimes with his impatience and impulsive manner, but he was not weak.

Rukia frowned and rubbed her face with her hands. The last time she saw Renji, the man had been a little quieter than usual but he had also seemed really tired, which was why she didn't think much of it at the time. Now that she thought about it, Renji could've been in a similar state as Ichigo, except he was better at putting up a front compared to the boy.

That brought her to the next question...what was the cause of the fight? Who was upset at whom?

* * *

Thin rivulets of blood-laced sweat trickled down Renji's face, staining his white _shitagi _pink. His breath came fast and raspy, and his legs trembled slightly as he leaned back against a rocky wall and slowly slid down to the ground. Zabimaru lay next to his feet.

_Damn it all_. He had tried everything; pushing his body to its limit by training for days without stopping, getting drunk, even travelling to the next few towns to track down souls and hollows to keep himself busy. But _every_ _fucking_ _time_ he stopped, unwanted memories rushed back into his mind with a vengeance.

How long has it been? Probably only two weeks, he figured, but it could've been two centuries as far as he was concerned.

It had taken all his courage to stand up and walk away from Ichigo the other day at the riverbank. He was so tempted to simply accept Ichigo's apology and pretend that everything was okay. But he couldn't. His heart wanted to but his pride forced him to stand up.

When he turned his back, he had actually hesitated for a few seconds before walking away, hoping that Ichigo would stop him. But Ichigo didn't. The boy had kept quiet the entire time as he walked. He hoped and hoped that Ichigo would call his name. He would've stopped immediately if Ichigo had, but Ichigo hadn't. So Renji kept walking.

He'd probably wiped out Urahara's stock of sake that night, judging by the number of bottles that surrounded him when he woke up the next day. He had actually gasped out loud in pain when he woke up; his headache was _that_ bad.

Today would be the second day of his planned 3-day training, and it hadn't been all that productive so far. All he had managed to do was to injure himself with debris by blindly breaking rocks apart. Long lines of cracks decorated the ground where Zabimaru had landed. If he was honest to himself, he would know that this was not training—he was merely venting his emotions.

"Fuck," Renji muttered out loud, wiping his sweat on his _shihakusho_ sleeves. The small cut on his forehead stung, but it was a welcomed distraction. Still, it wasn't enough.

He couldn't understand Ichigo. He liked to think that he knew the boy very well, but for the life of him he just could not understand why Ichigo was so frightened to let their relationship be known. Was the boy ashamed? Ashamed that he was with a man? Ashamed of Renji?

Renji was no narcissist—he knew his own faults well, but he didn't think that he was _that_ bad. Physically, he was good looking enough, well-built, strong. He was a skilled warrior—sure, he had room to improve, but he was certain that, if anything, his skills would not be the cause for shame. He knew he was brash, impulsive, but so was Ichigo! They were very similar in some ways, and perfect together.

What would be the worst repercussion of taking their relationship public? Possible backlash from Ichigo's family, but Ichigo's dad seemed like a really cool guy, if not a little weird. Rukia would be aghast for certain, but Renji was sure that she would be happy for them. The Gotei 13 was a little more troublesome, but there were no clear rules around officers' personal lives—at least, not that Renji was aware of. He knew for a fact that some of his friends were together, and nobody had objected or made a fuss so far.

Even so, it wasn't like Ichigo was a stickler for rules. So, the most likely issue was Ichigo's family. Renji knew how important family was to the boy. Perhaps that's why. Of course Ichigo would choose his family over Renji.

Renji was so engrossed in his thoughts that the sudden soft cough in front of him caused him to accidentally hit his head against the wall he was leaning on. Looking up, he realized it was Rukia.

"What the hell..." he grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on his head. "You trying to give me a heart attack?"

Rukia simply glared at him in silence. Her hands were posed on her hips, and she leaned down towards Renji's face and scowled at him.

"What'd I do?" Renji asked, recognizing Rukia's you're-in-trouble look.

Without saying anything, Rukia thrust something into Renji's hands. The redhead stared at it in confusion—it was an envelope. He looked at Rukia inquiringly.

"Open it," Rukia said.

Shrugging, Renji flipped the tab open and poured out the contents into an open palm. His mouth immediately went dry.

"That bastard," he whispered, staring at the colorful images of Ichigo and himself in the throes of passion. He _knew_ it was a bad idea to do it under Urahara's roof...he just _knew_ it! But Ichigo had been so—Renji's eyes widened in horror when he suddenly realized that Rukia must have seen these too.

"Yes, I've seen them," Rukia said gruffly.

Renji swallowed audibly. "And you're..."

"I don't see anything wrong with it," Rukia said, glaring at him again. "The only thing that pisses me off is that you guys didn't tell me about it."

"Didn't think you'd like to hear about us having..." Renji began, in an attempt to hide his embarrassment behind humor, but the joke died in his throat when Rukia shot him another murderous look. With a sigh, his shoulders sagged.

Rukia sat down next to him and looked at him expectantly. She didn't prompt him when he just kept quiet for a long time. She could tell he was going to talk, it was just a matter of organizing his thoughts before he did. Still, she wasn't prepared for the surprise when he finally opened his mouth.

"It's over," Renji said flatly.

Rukia's eyes widened, and she continued to stare at him questioningly.

"He doesn't want anyone to know, which is why we didn't tell you," Renji went on. "In the end I couldn't take it anymore, hiding just isn't in my nature. So I..."

A look of understanding dawned on Rukia's features. "You left," she finished. Renji looked at her and nodded. Rukia took a deep breath, then after a bout of silence, she muttered, "This explains it."

Renji cocked an eyebrow. Inwardly, though, he thought he knew the answer. Obviously, Rukia had gotten the photos from none other than Urahara, and Urahara didn't seem like the type of person who would simply give it to her for no reason, so Rukia must've gone to him first. Knowing Rukia's "fondness" of the shopkeeper, she must've been pretty desperate, and the only thing that could make her that way was Ichigo.

Renji closed his eyes and sighed. If he had anything to be proud of at the moment, it was the willpower he'd had to stay away from Ichigo. It had been extremely difficult; the first few days he'd found himself wandering around Ichigo's house without even realizing that he had walked there. After that, he consciously forced himself to stay away from that area. He had already made his decision, there was no point turning back.

"He's wilting away," Rukia said softly.

"You make it sound like it's _my_ fault," Renji said, feeling a bit insulted. "Do you think I _wanted_ to leave?"

Rukia rested a palm on Renji's arm. "No," she said. "It's not your fault. But I think I know why he wanted to keep it a secret."

* * *

**Can _you_ guess why Ichigo wants to keep it a secret? :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't want you guys to be sad for too long. ;) Here's the next chapter.**

* * *

Rukia inched open the door as carefully as she could, then slipped into Ichigo's room. It was already late by the time she finished talking to Renji, she figured that Ichigo was probably asleep. Her eyebrows arched when she noticed that the bed was empty. She looked around the room curiously, then finally found the boy.

Ichigo was sitting at his desk, shoulders slumped over the smooth surface of the desk, head nestled in the crook of one elbow. Books and paper for his school assignments were crushed underneath his arms.

Tiptoeing lightly, Rukia picked up Ichigo's jacket and gently draped it over the boy's back. As she did so, she peeked at Ichigo's face—he appeared to be in deep sleep. She noticed that the ink below his elbow was smeared, the paper discolored, and she sighed.

Leaving Ichigo at his desk, she sat at the edge of his bed and pondered her options. She was quite certain that she understood correctly why Ichigo would rather risk losing his relationship with Renji than to make it known, and her heart ached. It was just like Ichigo...always selfless, always deathly protective of the ones around him, and always thinking that he needed to bear every burden by himself.

She had wanted to tell Renji her suspicion, but at the last minute decided against it. She knew that if she were to tell Renji about it, he would immediately confront the boy and demand to know if it's true, then if it did turn out to be true...well, Rukia didn't want to see her childhood friend bash Ichigo's head in for being stupid. She needed to handle this carefully.

"R-rukia?" Ichigo's sleepy voice startled Rukia, and she immediately hopped onto her feet. Ichigo rubbed his eyes and yawned. "What's wrong?"

Rukia looked at the dark circles beneath the boy's eyes. How should she approach the subject? Her brows furrowed as she thought frantically. Now was as good a time as any to make her move...

After a brief silence, Rukia cleared her throat. "I just talked to Renji," she said, keeping an eye on Ichigo's face.

"Yeah?" Ichigo muttered, straightening up in his chair. Turning away from Rukia, he swept the various pieces of paper together to make a neat little stack, which he then placed to one corner of his desk. After that was done, he turned around. "And?"

Rukia hesitated. She was planning to take the same route as she did with Renji, as in, to tell the boy that Renji was sad and all that, but as she looked at Ichigo's obviously fake I'm-okay face, she felt a sudden surge of impatience.

"Why, Ichigo?" she asked directly. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Renji are together?"

Color drained from Ichigo's face. "H-how..." he stuttered, not bothering to deny it in his shock.

Rukia waved her hand dismissively. "How I know is not important," she said. "I want to know _why_."

Ichigo stared blankly at her for a few more seconds, then a determined look suddenly settled on his face. "I'm not telling you," he said.

Rukia advanced towards the boy. "I'm not going to just sit here on my ass while two of the most precious people in my life wilt away because of their own sheer stupidity!" she hissed fiercely.

Ichigo frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's because you think you'll endanger him if the enemy found out that he's special to you, isn't it?" There. Rukia had voiced out her suspicion. Now it was just a matter of whether Ichigo would admit it or not.

The boy clenched his jaw but didn't respond to the question, but—briefly as it was—Rukia caught the boy's eyes widen in shock before returning to normal. There it was; the confirmation that she needed.

Rukia threw her arms in the air in exasperation. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, a voice rang at the window behind her.

"Is it true?"

* * *

Ichigo's heart sank as Renji climbed into his room through the window. The man's eyes looked tired, but they still looked fierce when narrowed like that. If Renji had hackles, they would be raised right now. As it was, his face was dark, fists clenched, jaw tight...he looked downright pissed.

"Is it true?" Renji repeated.

Eye wide in alarm, Rukia held out her hands to stop Renji from coming nearer, but Renji simply grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the way.

"Stop, Renji!" Rukia cried, grabbing the hand on her wrist and pulling, still trying to stop her friend from approaching Ichigo.

Ichigo stood up from his chair to face his angry friend. "So what if it is?" he asked quietly.

"Damn you, Ichigo!" Renji burst out, letting go of Rukia. "You have to stop thinking that you have to fucking protect everyone around you all by yourself!" He closed their distance in two long strides, and his hand shot out to grab the collar of Ichigo's t-shirt. Yanking the boy closer to face him, Renji snarled, "Why are you so stupid?"

Rukia threw herself at Renji and tugged at his arm, the one holding Ichigo's shirt. "Let go, Renji! Don't fight, please!"

"Rukia, please leave," Renji said without looking at her.

"No! I'm not going to let you guys—" Rukia began to protest, then her voice died when Renji turned and looked at her. Something in his eyes made her stop struggling.

"Please." Renji said calmly.

Rukia took in a deep breath and looked at Ichigo. The boy gave her a small smile and a nod.

"Okay," she finally said, backing away from the two men reluctantly. She supposed she _should_ leave. After all, she had done her part—it didn't quite turn out the way she'd intended it to, but at least she managed to get the two of them talking, sort of.

Everything after this was up to them now.

* * *

The moment the door clicked closed, Renji let go of Ichigo's t-shirt, but he didn't back away from the boy. And Ichigo, for his part, stood his ground as well and did not move away from Renji.

After a long silence, Ichigo finally said in a small voice, "I'm sorry."

Renji slammed his fist into Ichigo's desk. "Enough with the sorries!" he said fiercely. "Why couldn't you just let me make this decision myself? I don't give a fuck even if it means wearing a neon sign yelling '_come get me if you want Kurosaki Ichigo_', and you of all people should know that!"

"That's the problem!" Ichigo yelled, also slamming his fist on his desk. "I know you don't care, but _I _do!" He stood there staring at Renji, breathing heavily, shoulders trembling from emotions. For a moment neither man spoke. Then, Ichigo sighed and added softly, "I can't afford to lose you, like how I lost my mom."

After saying that, Ichigo backed up and leaned against his closet. As if his legs could no longer bear his weight, he slid slowly to the floor. When he was finally in a sitting position, he brought his knees to his chest. Looking at Renji, he said in a tired tone, "I bring bad luck, Renji. Everyone I care about ends up hurt or dead."

"That's not true," Renji said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Look at my mom, and Rukia! I nearly got her killed!" Ichigo cried. "And my sisters! Hollows always target them because of _me!_ Why do you think you and Rukia are stationed here in Karakura? It's because _I'm_ here and they think that Aizen would come and attack _me!_"

There was a flash of movement, then Ichigo was suddenly yanked to his feet by the collar again. Renji was so angry that his hand shook as he pressed the boy's back against the closet door. "And do you see anyone complaining about that?" he asked hoarsely. "Does anyone blame you for your mother's death? She gave up her life to save you because she loved you! Rukia protected you because she loved you! And you _know_ your sisters would not even dream of having someone else as their brother!"

Ichigo's eyes blurred as Renji's words sank in. "Why did you think Rukia surrendered herself to Gotei 13 last time? It was because Byakuya threatened to kill me," he whispered. He paused for a moment, then continued, "It works both ways, Renji. If they know that you're my...you know, they could hurt you, kill you, because they'd know how much that would hurt me, and at the same time they can use _me_ to manipulate you. _That's_ why I can't let anyone know."

Renji's fist tightened. "And you think that I'll be all safe and happy if the enemy thinks that I'm just another regular shinigami, one of the many in Soul Society?" he spat. "Don't be stupid, Ichigo. This is war, and war doesn't care who you are. And even if what you say does happen, I'm strong enough."

"But I'm not." The unwelcomed tears finally overflowed and slid down Ichigo's cheeks.

Renji stared at the heartbroken boy in front of him. Ichigo's lips were quivering but he could tell that the boy was fighting hard to hold up a brave front. As tears flowed down Ichigo's face, Renji felt his anger being washed away along with them.

"Don't be stupid," he said, softer this time. "You're not as weak as you think you are." Then he leaned in and pressed his lips against Ichigo's.

* * *

**Mystery solved, hopefully it sounds logical?**

**Hint: Next chapter will be sour and sweet, like a certain type of citrusy fruit...hmmm ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you all who have been following me along this journey! I present to you, the citrusy ending of "Don't Run". Hope you'll like it. :)**

* * *

Ichigo tensed up when he felt the warmth from Renji's lips. Oh, how he had longed for this contact! But he couldn't, shouldn't...

Renji sensed his discomfort and pulled away. "Are you still not convinced that we'll be okay?" he asked, cupping Ichigo's face and dragging a thumb across the boy's wet cheek.

"I can't afford to lose you," Ichigo said, averting his gaze to hide his tears. "I want you alive, even if it means I can only be your friend." He reached up and wrapped his fingers around Renji's wrist. He tried to pull the hand away from his face, but Renji refused to budge.

"But I can't live like this, don't you understand?" Renji asked, resting his forehead against Ichigo's. "I can live for a hundred more years, but it would be meaningless."

Ichigo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "But..." he began.

Renji pressed his lips into the boy's hair. "I love you," he said. "If anything were to happen to you, I would do anything to save you, chase after you, avenge you, it doesn't matter if we're friends or lovers. You know I would do that for you." He felt Ichigo's shoulders tremble slightly. "And I know you would do the same for me."

Ichigo made a noise that sounded like a mix of a sob and a grunt, which Renji took as a yes. "See?" he said with a smile, then leaned down to brush his lips over Ichigo's eyelids. "It doesn't make a difference." When the boy didn't respond, he whispered, "Let's not hide anymore."

Ichigo's body remained tense for a while even after that, then he mumbled something under his breath.

"Hmm?" Renji bent down to place his ear next to the boy's mouth.

"I said," Ichigo said softly. "Can you promise to be extra careful?"

The redhead chuckled. "Idiot," he said. "You don't have to tell me that. I'll train to become stronger, and stronger and stronger, so that you don't have to worry about me. Is that okay?"

"But you're already strong," Ichigo muttered. "It's the nasty surprises that I'm worried about."

Renji laughed and ruffled the boy's hair. "How about this...you watch my back, and I'll watch yours. I know I can trust you to keep me alive."

"Duh," Ichigo mumbled with a scowl.

By then, Renji could feel Ichigo's muscles relax in his embrace, and he took the opportunity to tilt the boy's face up and bent down again for a kiss. This time, Ichigo didn't fight it.

Two weeks apart served as fuel to their need, and it didn't take long for them to end up on Ichigo's bed, leaving behind a haphazard trail of clothes. The mattress dipped as Renji pushed Ichigo onto his back.

No words were enough to express Renji's relief and happiness, so he let his body do all the talking. Crushing Ichigo beneath him with his lower body, he propped himself up by the elbows and gave Ichigo the longest and deepest kiss he'd ever experienced in his life. As Renji's tongue traced the familiar outlines of Ichigo's lips and teeth, he grinded his hips against Ichigo's and felt the boy's body respond.

Ichigo moaned into the kiss as the friction sent a chill through his body. "More," he gasped, wrapping his arms around Renji's neck as he arched his back, pushing himself up into Renji's body.

Renji chuckled softly and complied. Breaking the kiss, he propped himself up on his palms and rolled his hips roughly. He groaned out loud himself as Ichigo's hot flesh rubbed against his own, and he unconsciously clenched his fists, gripping the sheets tightly.

"Again," Ichigo whispered, then, without waiting for a response, raised his own hips to meet Renji's. "Again...please..."

Renji wanted to laugh at the boy's impatience, but refrained himself because he knew Ichigo would be embarrassed. So instead, he simply smiled and moved his hips again, grinding their erections together. The shuddering moan that left Ichigo's lips almost made Renji's arms buckle under his weight, so he quickly lowered himself onto his elbows.

As Ichigo's soft chant of "again" continued, Renji ducked his head under the boy's chin and greedily sucked on the delicate skin of Ichigo's neck, leaving a trail of light markings, mapping out his territory as he went lower and lower. He kissed Ichigo's chest, dragging his tongue across Ichigo's sensitive nipples and feeling them harden under his touch.

At some point—neither knew when, Ichigo had abandoned all attempts of coherent speech and simply moaned appreciatively as Renji slowly made his way down towards the throbbing heat between Ichigo's legs. When Renji's breath tickled his tip, Ichigo grabbed the redhead's hair and _yanked_.

"Oww!" Renji sputtered, one hand flying automatically to his scalp. "What the fuck?"

Ichigo laughed shakily. "Can we...skip that? I...I don't think I can last much longer."

Renji grinned. "Don't worry, I'll make you last." And with that, he ignored Ichigo's protests and took Ichigo into his mouth.

Ichigo's hips immediately bucked. "Shit!" Ichigo cursed, slamming his fists on the mattress. Heart sinking, he felt the coil of tension in his belly tighten to the point of snapping. "Renji! I can't—"

At that moment, Renji wrapped his fingers around the base of Ichigo's erection and squeezed. Ichigo's eyes widened, then he let out a choked cry as his release was abruptly denied. His legs jerked and Renji narrowly missed receiving a knee in the face.

Laughing at the boy's reaction, Renji kept his hold for a good ten seconds before letting go. Ichigo lay flat on his back, fists clutching the sheets in a death grip, chest heaving as he took in quick, ragged breaths.

After a few more pants, Ichigo finally lifted his head off the pillow and glared at Renji. "You planned this all along, didn't you?"

Renji's smile widened. Instead of answering, he crawled up and claimed Ichigo's lips, pushing the boy's head back into the pillow. Then, gently, he nudged Ichigo's inner thighs with his knee.

He didn't think it was possible, but Ichigo felt himself harden even more in anticipation. The bed creaked as Renji moved to retrieve the little bottle that was tucked discretely between the mattress and the bed frame—the creaking sound reminded Ichigo of Renji's passionate thrusts, and his breath quickened. _Hurry, hurry..._

"Just give me a minute, idiot," Renji grumbled, fumbling with the bottle cap.

Ichigo's face immediately reddened when he realized that he had voiced his thoughts out loud. But before he had time to simmer in his embarrassment, Renji's hands were back between his legs. Ichigo grunted softly as slicked fingers slid into him, but he welcomed the pain because he knew what would follow.

When Renji finally entered him, Ichigo let out a gasp and gripped the man's arms, digging his nails into tattooed skin. Body trembling from the initial discomfort of being stretched, he groaned as Renji slowly sank deeper into him. By the time Renji was fully sheathed, Ichigo was a blabbering mess.

The sight of Ichigo all flushed and aroused beneath him fanned Renji's lust, and for a moment he forgot about being gentle. Grabbing the underside of Ichigo's knees, Renji lifted the boy's legs onto his shoulders, then, gripping Ichigo's hips, he began to move. Every feverish thrust elicited a loud moan from Ichigo, which in turn drew a corresponding groan from Renji. Soon, it was clear that they were at their limit.

Renji reveled in the familiar ritual; as he always did, Ichigo whispered Renji's name urgently as he approached his climax, then with one final, breathless cry of "_Renji!_", the boy tumbled off the edge. Unable to hold back any longer, Renji gasped and let himself go, releasing deep within the heat that held him in a tight embrace.

They lost track of time as they lay crumpled on Ichigo's bed, mindless of their sweaty bodies and the sticky residue on Ichigo's stomach. Their breathing slowed down gradually, then, just as a wave of drowsiness settled over them, Ichigo murmured under his breath.

"Hmm?" Renji turned his head slightly.

Wrapping his arms protectively around Renji, Ichigo leaned closer and repeated, "I don't want to hide anymore."

Renji smiled.

* * *

After making sure that her friends had fallen asleep, Rukia disabled the sound-proofing _kido_ barrier around Ichigo's room. Now that the boys had solved _that_ problem, Rukia could see their next challenge—finding a way to conceal their _very loud_ chorus. With Ichigo's lack of _kido_ skills and Renji's dismal grasp of it, Rukia made a mental note to discuss the need for lessons first thing in the morning.

As she turned around to leave, Rukia hesitated. Then, with a soft chuckle, she re-engaged the same _kido_ barrier before going off to Yuzu's bedroom. Ah, you never know...after all, Renji and Ichigo were both known to have great stamina during battles...

* * *

**Thank you all for reading! I can't say enough how wonderful it feels to read the reviews and favs for this story, I'm glad I'm able to share it with you!**


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